THE FATHER’S ROLE
In a family both parents are important. It’s natural that mothers do more of direct nurturing and caretaking, while fathers involve in physical play activities, particularly ‘rough and tough’ play.
Psychologists believe a father’s relationship with the children is a significant factor. When emotionally connected to their children, it ensures that the children are looked after well. And they feel secure and safe. Father’s influence goes beyond where mothers can’t; particularly in the school social circles and performance in school.
Children who have the advantage of a caring father can go about their lives more comfortably. They feel reassured at times of distress. Similarly, children can be harmed by fathers who are abusive, highly critical, emotionally distant and shaming.
Many assume that a father’s role is a mere ‘assisting a mom.’ No, it’s not psychologically true. Fathers typically tend to connect to children more significantly than the mothers do. It means with more of a father’s presence children show a willingness to develop various developmental skills, particularly social skills.
Similarly, children who live with and non-responsive, cold and humiliating kind of fathers tend to perform poorly in school and have hard times in social relations.
Why it is not mothers but fathers’ have this strong influence on their children because it was proved that the father-child relationship evokes strong, powerful emotions in children.
Fathers’ must understand and realize that family life is not providing for their family material needs; but, “It’s about being there on a daily basis providing the never-ending, ever-changing, day-to-day physical and emotional needs as well,”
A father to be emotionally available to the child:
He must allow himself to know of the child’s feelings so he can connect with the child easily.
He must take whatever steps necessary to see he is available to the child.
He must structure the daily lifestyle that gives more time and attention to the child.
The following traits form the basis for a positive, nurturing father-child relationship:
Engagement: father’s direct contact and close interactions with the children.
Availability: Father’s physical and emotional presence to the child.
Responsibility: Father’s lifestyle must be structured so that the child can have his time and resources.
For a father, this involves hard work, long hours, self-sacrifice and a keen commitment to his family. Realizing the significance of family relations, and children’s well-being it is imperative that fathers’ have to change unless they change they risk losing touch with their wives and children. Without them, the hard work of fathers has no goal and meaning.