HOW TO GUIDE THE CHILD WHEN THEY FACE A PROBLEM
- As parents with a mind to care for our child’s health or physical and mental well-being we expect our children to be totally under our control and to do exactly what we instruct them to do. As parents, we want to present ourselves an ‘I know all’ status and seemingly powerful and appear strong in the eyes of our children. As parents what we must understand is we must not provide assistance or service to our children that they can manage on their own.
- So long as we as parents provide protective initiatives whenever we find them in mild distress we are attempting a discouraging push denying the child the right to learn on his own and develop his own coping methods when faced with an unavoidable challenge. As parents, we can never think of standing behind our children and controlling their lives throughout. And we have our bothering problems we are overwhelmed with.
- Parents should not fall into this trap of always ‘at a rescue mode’ to our children. We have to provide useful guidance in the manner, that we have to instruct, teach, speak, and show them the ways and methods by which they can cope with their daily problems. Children have very active brains and a built-in coping mechanism. As parents, we have to train them to use them. This creates trust and confidence in their individual abilities.
- Children in their lives will have to face many challenges and once they enter the adolescence it would be a discouraging aspect to them to always depend on the parents and this may also frustratingly lead to some undesirable consequences. Therefore, we as parents need to train our children, from an early age the courage and strength to face the life’s adventures.
- It should be known that at later stages children have to learn to deal with their problems in their smart ways and means. It is advisable for parents to assume a casual attitude in the early stages so that it will help the child to develop a healthy attitude of his own. To encourage developing this sense of personal belief in his own abilities, the child needs help and inspiration. The best encouragement is to assure him and let him know that he has parents support and he is given a chance to deal with it on his own.
- We as parents have to move away from our false impression that it is our responsibility to provide all the help and assistance in solving all his problems. It’s like showing our children that we are strong and you are weak. This is not our motive with which we want to raise our children in future. By observing them and questioning for ourselves, ‘what can I do to guide him’ is a practical method to demonstrate the trust and confidence in their abilities. We have to watch them as responsible parents but step back and allow them to enjoy the good and bad of his own experiences and derive his strength and optimism from them.
THE CHARACTER OF A GOOD SCHOOL
1.The Schools need to be homes for happiness and a healthy launch pad for learning. A guiding place where, children can sustain their inquisitiveness; and enrich themselves to enter the spirited world with a versatile mindset.
2.Children are natural learners. Schools along with their devoted teachers should everyday fire their imagination with expressive teaching and create inspiring learning situations. An amicable school environment must provide all new experiences allowing them to explore their inherent talents and tap their curiosity.
3.The evolving of a good school involves consensus among three inclusive participants. The classroom: secure, safe and salubrious. The teacher: friendly, forgiving, approachable and above all an intense learner. The parent: cooperative, fair-minded towards the child and the teacher; willing to make adjustments in line with the nature and needs of the child. The child can reap the best blessings and stay emotionally strong within the confluence of these three powerful parties.
4.If the schools are to be places of good learning but not a stagnant pool of out-dated systems the interdependency of the three participants, the classroom, the teacher, and the parents play an enormous influence act in the learning process for the children. If any effort were to make to improve the school systems and suggest friendly learning practices in the classrooms the schools need to coach, train, and guide at all three levels – equally and periodically. The progress and development of a child are possible only when the school invites and involves the continual improvement of the teachers and regular enrichment and guidance to parents.
5.Schools have to recognize that the parents are highly committed partners in educating their children. Schools have to remember that if a lively child has to sit the classroom with a healthy acceptance: It has to be a consequential result of encouraging better parenting habits among the parent community. A much-needed responsibility of a school administration.
6.Two other adults whom the schools have to nurture and promote are the principal and the teachers who wield major influence on the children during their stay in the school. It is chiefly the principal’s efficiency that has to measure in bringing together the three champions – the children, the teachers and the parents to one coherent awareness outlook. So that the child is always at an advantageous end. And there is more likelihood that the schools would survive as prominent centers of learning in a society.
TRAINING CHILDREN IS PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY.
One common image is noticed at any school or at households; the parents helping and assisting their children with trivial tasks. Like how to dress, how to tie the shoes, arranging his school bag, how to cross the street, how to be on time, how to eat. Raising children not able to work on their own, and when faced a stiff situation children not able to hold on their own, in such a situation parents have to blame themselves trying to project the children in such a mild format. It is the quite discouraging situation for any child to fend for himself taking on such tough instances.
These perils surface often for parents when not taking time off to train the children to act on their own the many of his duties in and around home and school.
- Children need besides good care definite training in many aspects while he is growing up.
- Training our children have to be a part of our daily routine looking for ideal time to teach them familiar tasks that makes his life interesting, and ours less tedious and less conflicting. Incidental remarks, satires, harsh words, are never good training tools. Patience and planning and timing are the buzz words here.
- Failing to take time off for training and later finding the children ill-equipped to deal on his own in any of his efforts effort, surely, would, later on, lead to, parents constantly correcting an unguided child. Constant corrections fail to train a child and later may create a possibility that he is left discouraged or predisposes to depend more on their parents at the slightest urge.
- To teach a particular skill repetition and regular routine is the key. To master a particular skill, say for example table manner, a child has to be first explained the need and method of table manners and see that the child follows the custom every day until it becomes a seamless habit to him. Patience, confidence, encouragement that the child can learn in his terms, space, and pace is one point to be observed by the parents. Encouragement and support are vital.
- Children are a natural store of inbuilt courage and are wired to take risks and imitate things that others are doing. Parents should have enough trust to step back and let the children work and practice by themselves. Allow the tough situations trigger to instill few good coping skills in them.
- When children realize that the parents are behind them supportively watching and understand enough to pick them, dust them off and put them back on the track then they are willing to run an extra mile on their own and be strong enough to buffet any punch coming their way. If parents wish the children to succeed give them as many training chances to try, try and try again.
- Children are good self-starters. They have a natural mechanism to devise and explore on their own. The parents’ responsibility is to wind them up and sit back and watch them testing their might but never lose sight of them. Parents should never carry all the children’s fears on their backs; allow them to float up and fly high in the sky like a kite, and string firmly and securely in our hand. This is how to encourage them to realize their self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth. Choosing their own actions to recognize their dreams.
WHAT CHILDREN EXPECT FROM PARENTS?
This is a really tough question to address ourselves as parents. What are the expectations of children from parents’? What are the promises they want from parents’?
- I want my parents to think I’m an important person. I want them to see me as an individual having my own thoughts, ideas, and aspirations.
- I want my parents to be friendly, use acceptable language, show special care and spend a good time with me.
- I want my parents to take my wishes and needs in all seriousness.
- I don’t want my parents to withhold care, attention, and love because I’m not up to their personal expectations. They must see me as a remarkable individual because they like me but must not be linked to my grades and performance.
- I want my parents to work continuously toward the happiness involving all the members of the family. For us, time and attention are more important than gifts and money.
- I want my parents to know about our feelings, emotions. Understand our weaknesses and appreciate our strengths. And respect the difference between them.
- I want my parents to help understand me as a person and have a sense of belonging and a secured feeling as unique one in the family.