PARENTING RULES – 38

A FEW POINTERS FOR PARENTS!

What is it that every parent or a teacher ranks at the top of their value system regarding a child?

It is the intelligence that ranks highest as one of the important characteristics in evaluating the worth of a child.

Hardly the child enters the early years of schooling, and once the parents discover the ‘intelligence factor’ is at a lower scale of their expectations. You witness parents often experience, agony, and disappointment, and worry as if the whole world would crumble looking at the ‘low grades of their child.’

Curiously, some parents suffer overwhelming restlessness over their child’s slowness and low grades.

In the present- day parenting, children and their intelligence and academic achievements are admired as the most guaranteed status symbols.

Given any school, any class, we see parents pushingly competing with each other in raising the best-educated, best-ranked, best-scored child in the neighborhood.

Barring a few exceptional children, as we have to accept, a vast majority of children are just normal kids who work hard to please their parents. They sweat with their huge emotional needs and expect to be loved and accepted as they are. Thus it’s up to every parent to realize this hard psychological truth that every child grapples with as they go through the early growing years.

It’s shocking to see that the entire family is pinning their hopes, ambitions on the outcome of the child’s scorecard and intelligent laurels. If the child is aptly good in studies and scoring high ranks things may turn out favorably for the child.

But contrarily, if the child is with low –average ability, and suffers low self-esteem, survives daily with a fragile psyche. It’s time the parents have to consider one fact seriously: For a sensitive natured children school is a dangerous place.

Ambition driven parents’, schools, and teachers are programmed to recognize only dazzlingly brilliant, academically talented kids. If not, we could find the slow and averaged children are driven to one corner nursing their bruises of self-concept, egos, and damaged sensitiveness. The most likely scenario a passive child suffers in a school.

The negative ambiance indirectly encouraged in classrooms, and subtly fed at home severely affects the child’s learning process. And he begins to believe that he is ‘dumb’ or a ‘failure.’The Discouraging label through which the child sees himself has far-reaching implications once he is grown up. His learning process gets affected, and he begins to believe in his inability to succeed.

Parents’ have to ask a few questions themselves. Are we preventing that children don’t slip into a trap of self-created, self-defeating patterns? Are we creating for our children the best encouraging ambiance at home and overseeing that the dominant skills are encouraged by teachers at schools.

In today’s competitive world, schools and media place huge importance on ranks and grades. However, good parenting involves helping the child to balance studies and recreation. The way the parent treats with generous understanding to take away the burden of ‘you always have to be on top’ guilt from their children. This attitude of parents empowers the child to grow as a holistic personality.

Learn to praise your child’s efforts. Children are very sensitive to their efforts. They are aware of their hard work or when they haven’t put in enough work.  It’s always an advantage for children if parents ask teachers to be supportive and realistic the way they asses the children intellect and sensitiveness.

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