SEVEN PARENTING RULES – 19
Children, especially, one to three – year – old very sweetly work about in a manner demanding constant attention of their parents. Their behavior kept irritating you until quickly you pay attention to their needs – most of the time trivial. If he gets the required attention he presents few problems. Or else, the result, which we hate to accept: the tantrums, out-of-control crying, they kick, scream. Although he is a child he knows very well how to keep all of us busy with his attention seeking tactics.
To a parent how long a child continues to using outbursts to get his way depends on how you react the first time, he tries it. As you have to understand a tantrum is a method a child uses to get what he wants – here parents attention – whatever the purpose. Once the child learns that the tactic works – means – which he get what he wants. Now, he has learned a method to shout, cry, and roll over, to get the undue attention from the adults around. He is likely to try it again and again – to the point of irritating and tipping the balance of our normal day.
The best answers the parents find in solving the tantrum kickoff is to identify the hidden goals of the child. The tantrums are most common among toddlers, but older kids and sometimes even adults choose the ‘outburst’ as a device to get what they want.
For the untimely temper attacks the reasons can be many, as parents we have to closely observe what reason may be behind our child’s outcry.
We as parents should be familiar with the general behavior pattern of the child. Some children are hyperactive, some are intense, and some are less than mild. The question is where does your child fit in? As parents, we need to be patient enough to change out parenting styles according to the sensitivities of your child. We have to be cautious enough not to create a situation where the child throws tantrum flares.
As parents, we have to watch how we are handling the requirements and demands of our kids. Are we really spending time understanding them, communicating in the way it represents we care for them? What type of model behavior we are demonstrating along with our partner. Children – whatever the age – keep watching, following and copying us. We have to be very honest before we label our child troublesome. Most of the times the defect lies in the parenting style than the child’s innocent demands.
As parents, we need to look into our expectations. Our children grow according to their own biological timetable, and certain capabilities. Expecting from them beyond the line of their capabilities – a caution we need to insert in our patenting rules.
Never over control them. We have to be careful not to be too strict in our approach in dealing with their edgy behavior.