SEVEN PARENTING RULES – 17
LETTING OFF THE PRESSURE
Schools at the present day have turned practically into ‘exam gyms’ in which the children are expected to sweat every day. With exams, it looks like he is fastened to a treadmill repeatedly. Not a day would pass when our child announces that he had to prepare for an assignment or take a weekend test. Exams, tests, assignments; surely are sources of anxiety, stress, and pressure for our children so long as they stay in schools or colleges.
Exams of any description were likely to generate distressing pressure on children. Schooling requires taking various tests is a fact known to any school going kid. Teachers keep telling them. Their friends keep telling them. Notice boards in the corridors of the school keep announcing them. The question I pose to parents: at this point do we need put another strain of pressure on children reminding them about their tests, exams or whatever. Too much pressure on them during exams can become counter-productive.
So, what should be the parents stand on this very critical recurring topic is what I want to discuss. As parents, we need to think how the children are stressed out with the whole exam business. Even without our involvement, there are under steady pressure absorbed in preparation for one or other assignments. At this point, regular reminders by the parents would add an extra bit of distress that may work more distracting than providing any comfort and concentration. Parents need to have a wider perspective about the whole scenario of exam anxiety and how the child is wedged in it all by himself. Accordingly, I advise you to provide a relaxing blanket around them.
Parents are never to give an impression to their child that the whole life’s success hangs on their exam results. Your job is to reassure him that they are very many important things in life other than good exam results. You can site him many living examples of people raising to higher levels of success and leading happier lives despite, the failures they had faced in their school and college days. If you can repeat to them if they do well in the exams it will be wonderful, but a single failure doesn’t shatter their gifted future.
If the overstressed child is already under too much pressure, your kind reassuring words at the right moment should take pressure away from him. This gesture of yours would actually give your child a comfortable mindset to succeed rather than entertaining negative views. This gesture of parents reassuring him that it’s ok no matter what happens is the right therapeutic attitude to maintain when the child is under stressed situation whatever may be the cause.
As a parent, it is good to realize that your child’s final success tally would depend on how he chooses to work hard on his own terms. No amount of parent’s pressure can bring about any remarkable result. The realization has to be the sole choice of the child himself. As a parent our job is to provide them a perspective beyond school or college teachings; guiding them to understand the significance of life skills – points like good communication, decision making, and emotional balance, gender equality; stuff like that. If you give them the confidence and skills they need when they face the competitive world they could turn any exam result, any adverse trouble into a better advantage that could bring happiness to them.