Self-esteem is, basically a mental yardstick everyone has and how they measure the merits of their personality. The concept of having an estimate about ourselves, like self-confidence, or self- awareness is naturally ‘a social factor.’ It means feeling good about ourselves, our abilities and our thoughts, in a social and working environment.

Building self-esteem in children is a continuous process. The positive growth of its essence among children or young people depends upon the experiences and relationships. That they cultivate especially with their parents, teachers, grandparents, important adults who would be around them and finally the friends they bond with.

There are three categories of people who influence a child’s self-esteem.




Right from childhood parents’ affectionate responsiveness has a strong bearing on how a child builds in him the self-confidence and self-esteem.

The level of self-esteem a child develops is directly proportional to the positive environment nurtured by the parents.

The parents’ acceptance through early childhood, adolescence, and young adults allow them to look at themselves and conclude, “My behavior, actions, thoughts, are accepted, admired and recognized.” This unconditional parental acceptance is the root of building good self-esteem in children.

One significant fact every parent has to accept; that they control the deepest impact on how a child feels about themselves. Children are the mirror images of the parents. They reflect your behavior, words, and attitude. Children closely watch how the parents are handling themselves every day.

It is decisive that the parents need to be aware and should avoid certain behaviors that would transmit negative influence the child in a bad way.


Relatives and other important adults also have a chance to influence a child’s self-esteem. Siblings’ especially older siblings could have a powerful impact on a child’s self-esteem negatively or positively.

Parents need to be careful to see that the relatives, or other adults or older siblings should never subject a young child to constant teasing, or calling names, threatening even in a good-natured way. These acts unknowingly may turn out to be very damaging to the confidence and self-esteem of the children.

Teachers too also form another important adult group that could go a long way to build healthy self-esteem in children. Teachers have an advantage; they spend as much time with children as their parents do. And children are willing to listen to their teacher’s words. Surely, the classroom is one good source to nourish a child’s self-esteem positively.


Friends have a tremendous advantage to make or break the self-confidence and self-esteem of their peers. We see most of the adolescents and young adults move in a network made up of friends.

Good friendships certainly keep the children in good moods and help to enhance mental health and thus elevate self-esteem.

Right kind of friends in schools or colleges can help in providing in time of need the emotional support or face any tough situations.

Friends are very good listeners. A deep yearning every adolescent or younger one looks for. The support they would often never seek out from the parents for different reasons. That is the main reason why children value friendships and go about hanging out with them.


26 Responses

  1. This is wonderful. Many people believe it is the teachers role to impact their students but it is primarily on the parents and care givers!

  2. HilLesha says:

    This is so true! This is why it is so incredibly important to influence their self-esteem in a positive way early on.

  3. Lyosha says:

    Great rule! I think we all should think the same to have kids better and fullier raised.

  4. Kate says:

    Such a great and informative article thank you for sharing !

  5. Great information about how parents influence their children’s lives!

  6. angel says:

    this is so true. kids always need approval from parents even from a very young age and encouraging them and praising them boost their self esteem

  7. Diana Tidswell says:

    Wow, this is such a nice post and I really enjoyed reading this. For me, it is so important that parents, relatives, siblings or friends must be a good example to the young ones for them to gain a good self-confidence or good self-esteem.

    • Eswar Prasad says:

      I’m happy to know that you have enjoyed my parenting articles. I wish that you would share your ideas about parenting in future also.

  8. Danielle says:

    Everything you have said is spot on. Parents, relatives and friends all influence how a child grows and learns. I try to be kind to my children and hope they will mirror how I act towards them and others.

  9. Lisa Rios says:

    I think every parent can influence their kids’ self esteem. It all starts with how you talk to your child.

  10. Annemarie LeBlanc says:

    Everything you wrote is correct and every parent can relate to this. My youngest child had to “compete” with his older siblings who were achievers. Until such time that he said, “I must really be stupid. I don’t win awards in school like my sister and brother.” That was when we worked really hard to build up his confidence and self esteem. We found out that he loved to learn to cook, so that is where we focused. He how has a degree in Hotel Management and is on his way to building his own career in the industry.

    • Eswar Prasad says:

      It is great to know how you liked my idea of parenting and their responsibilities. I liked the way you shared your personal experience in your family.

  11. A child’s self-esteem is really very crucial and equally important in the same way as instilling him good values. Thank you for sharing good points on the factors and influences of a child’s self esteem.

    • Eswar Prasad says:

      Thank you for reading my blog and I appreciate your sharing the ideas regarding self esteem. Hope we meet regularly thru my blog and exchange your ideas on parenting.

  12. maysz says:

    Great post this is really helps to the all parents!

  13. Dr. Rtn. MVRao says:


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