HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD TO CHANGE
Change in children’s attitude and behaviour comes in small installments. You can’t see it happen overnight. We can’t assume that change isn’t happening just because we don’t see quick results. What we should look for as a change is the gradual reduction of inappropriate behaviour or small increments of a new way of manners.
Here are a few factors of change a parent need to know to help their child.
Most behaviours and attitudes are learned.
Mostly in children, a few behaviours are seen inherited by biological factors. But, many habits, attitudes, manners, are learned and can be taught by parents. It’s the awareness and responsibility of the parents’ that have to go in teaching new behaviours, skills, values, and habits.
Most behaviour needs a parent’s involvement and mediation.
Children don’t have the age, cleverness, or common sense to change on their own. It takes constant guiding intervention by the parents to identify the problem and nip it early before it becomes an ugly habit.
Some habits may most likely get worse if not recognized early, and repairing measures must arrive before it becomes tough for a change.
Never assume that a bad habit or unacceptable behaviour is a, ‘just a passing phase that will disappear with age,’ ignoring it gives the child an undue time and advantage to consolidate bad behaviour to a lifelong habit. Early intervention is the formula for parents’.
Parents are the change agents in the child’s life.
Parents have to realize how to use effective ways of responding to bring about the required change in their behaviour and habits.
Children look at parents for most of what they have to imitate and accept. The significant aspect is parents have to be careful about what they are demonstrating as behaviours, habits to their children.
An important change formula is, “Change yourself so you can change your child.”
Check your responses; see you don’t react impulsively over your child’s behaviour.
You have to sound your responses favorably that it might prompt your child willing to obey to your appeals.
Stay calm. Never overly react when your child shows unreasonable behaviour. Check your tone, posture, expression while giving your response.
Show you are close to him. To be physically closer means a lot to your child, for his security and psychological well-being. To get closer increases the likelihood that the errant child softens his behaviour to cooperate.
Parents have to model good attitudes and behaviour. Parents have to be aware that the child is constantly watching them, and their behaviour has to set the right image to the children.
Remember the Rule of 21. Parents must have enormous patience in teaching a new behaviour. It takes a lot of practicing new skills, behaviour, attitude, values. Change takes time. Our regular, ‘when things went wrong’ lectures don’t make any repairs in their basic behaviours.
Give your child time to make that change really to happen. It takes learning new habits a minimum of twenty- one-days of regular repetition.
Remember, it’s never too late to change, never give up. Help your child to pick up small changes, have patience, and you can expect the lasting change in your child’s behaviour, and manners at home and at school.