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Subtle open communication is an important tool for parents to give to their – the next-gen children a clear message – ‘we care for you.’ Once children enter their adolescence, they don’t always make clear what bothers them and what’s happening in their private life. They refuse to share the goings-on among their peer groups; they are very secretive about their social contacts, any emotional issues, internet usage, and cell-phone friendships.

It would be greatly helpful for parents if they could quickly learn the major specifics of their child from the preschool through high school – their fears or worries, and concerns. The awareness surely makes a profound difference in being an authoritative parent who can guide the children through difficult phases of school life and laying a firm foundation for a healthy self-concept.

When parents communicate openly with their children and use age-appropriate language, we can build a strong bond with them, and this makes parenting easier.

Here are a few tips for achieving effective parent-child communication 

The most difficult task that evokes a lot of awkwardness and keeps the parents worried is a situation between the children and parents; ‘how to communicate with them’ or ‘how to talk with them.’

Parents have to learn a few specific skills that will keep the channels of communication open, healthy, and candid between parents and children. It is good to create ‘easy to talk, easy to converse’ manners of setting among all family members.  

If better the seeds of relationship and understanding sown during when the child is young, here the point is where the child has to pay attention when you speak to him. Never launch into instruction mode when the child is active in his activities – like doing homework, watching TV or playing. Observe your child’s conversational style and the time-space when he seems ‘soft’ and ‘ready’ to listen. That is the juncture you can make the ‘talking connection’ with your child.

 The central feature of communication with the children is the degree of respect with which we speak to them. The language of acceptance we choose to guide them. Never give a hint in the conversations the words that blame, shame, insult, preaching, sarcasm, teasing, threatening, bribing, humiliation. They only desensitize the children besides create deep cracks in our bonding and relationships that would stand as demons as they grow up.

Even as adults we hate listening to people who drag on and on with unnecessary details. So do our children. Parents have to learn to say the point quickly, in one short sentence. Children have shorter attention spans. And they never bother to heed when they are listening something unpleasant. So, parents have to keep the sentences short and start with something positive.   

The everyday language we use should be pleasant enough or tuned correctly to include and build useful and meaningful relationships.  Let me quote Dr.Haim G. Ginott, the renowned American Psychologist, “The tragedy of ‘communication’ lies, not in the lack of love, but a lack of respect; not in the lack of intelligence, but the lack of skill.” 

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