When children enter the world, there accompany a few rights that are to be sacred to any parent – to be fed, clothed, sheltered and protected. But, many parents are likely to ignore the additional rights that go along with these physical rights. They have a right to be nurtured emotionally, to respect their feelings, and create an environment that prepares them to grow with a sense of good self-image.
A CHILD LEARNS CHIEFLY FROM PARENTS
Children are like sponges, and they soak up anything expressed by the parent – both words and body language. They grow up listening to their parents, watching their parents and imitating their parent’s voice and choice. Home becomes their conservatory where they learn about themselves and others what becomes firm beliefs deeply set in their minds. Parental role models are the basis for a strong foundation for the child’s self-worth
PRINCIPLES FOR GOOD PARENTING
Parents must provide for their children’s needs; for love, attention, and affection.
Parents must protect their children from emotional suffering.
It’s the parental responsibility to explain and define moral and ethical boundaries.
When parents, perhaps because of their defective self-image, mental health, emotional health, if they are unavailable to meet their children’s needs and demands the family roles become harmful, and they compel the children to follow and listen to a bad parent.
BAD PARENTING POINTERS
You have a high expectation of your child, especially academically; he is forced to grow too fast, too soon, he never has time to enjoy his childhood, while his friends are out on playground enjoying their freedom. You expect your child to perform at the highest level.
Your language and actions have a tone and control to make the child feel bad about him, and at home, the discussions are only directed to highlight the child’s flaws and failures that unknowingly may instill a feeling of inferiority complex.
You are emotionally reactive, have no control over your emotions like anger, irritation, non-sympathetic, and nagging. You overreact, and the children see your attitude unpredictable.
You seem to want an upper hand in the way you deal with the child. You want your child to do what you ask to do when to do and how to do it. You use the parental power, guilt to exert your control.
You are silent when you are angry with your child. You make your child not to react by your silent treatment and displaying passive-aggressive behavior pressuring the child to bend and comprise to any situation.
If you are found saying, ‘follow my instructions,’ but in case the child fails, you say it’s not my responsibility. You don’t care about the consequences but expect total control of the child and not owning up the responsibility if something goes wrong.
HOW NOT TO BE LIKE A BAD PARENT
Resolve not to be the parent your child fears all the time.
Model the person you want your child like to be.
Children are instant triggers of irritation, and parents have to learn how to tolerate and diffuse them.
Parenting is the most challenging task. Learning and relearning with a blueprint of a healthy outlook, strong faith in us, and a relationship with the child would help to raise well-rounded kids, and happiness in life is guaranteed.