SEVEN PARENTING RULES – 37

THE BEST GIFT TO YOUR CHILD – YOUR TIME

“Mummy look at my drawing,” with all innocence she begs to call the attention of mummy to her work of colors.

“Mummy how I look in this dress, Daddy can you listen to me once.” In most of the homes, this is the most common demands we commonly hear.

And Mommy and daddy don’t answer. And this response too most typically happens in many homes.

As parents, we work hard every day for our children. Parenting, we have to understand, is more than buying those gifts, dropping at school, celebrating their birthdays. The parenting is seen more importantly, in giving your time – both physically and emotionally.

While each of us requires praise, its requirement is highest for children. How much attention you are as a parent willing to allot depends upon how much time you are keen to devote to spend with your child.

To give the best advantage to your child the best gift you can give him is your time. To provide him as much as he demands that is appropriate for his age.

Children spending time together with parents in various activities are likely to become a common platform for understanding between parents and children. When a child sees happiness flowing freely between herself and her parents, she feels valued, and her sense of worth builds up.

Every child needs a good amount of bonding time to spend with their parents frequently.

At home, parents have to plan a definite time for family togetherness activities. It should be a part of the daily routine. Theactivitiesencouragechildren to develop strong emotional ties with their siblings and parents.

Parents if they can allow specific time in the evenings to spend with their children with schoolwork, or completing home works, planning for projects.

The time spent, often, during their school years with children would help them to approach parents with less fear. And enable openly talk over their academic problems. When children are comfortable with their parents discussing academic issues, it can help them perform better at school academically.

The enthusiasm of the parents quickly flows to their children. If parents are good-humored, full of positive energy; the children don’t fall behind to follow them. Children mostly imitate parents. Whatever the parents set as good behavior by spending quality time the children they are more likely to adopt those behaviors. That could in future help them when they grow up.  They learn to display sharing, kindness, and understanding in their relationships in their lives.

If parents are alert and willing to spend time with their children, they will discover all the elements that interest the children. They can have fun and enjoy each other’s company. Certainly, this is the best way to weave together the family unity and harmony.

SEVEN PARENTING RULES – 36

PARENTING STYLES

Parenting is always a challenging responsibility. Since the last two decades, there has been a major change in how we are raising our children. The tensions, frustrations have increased, and the modern-day parents never seemed happy with not so favorable results from their parenting styles.

Our parenting styles can mean a million intentions we represent to our children. If he’s healthy, emotionally strong, do-gooder, hardworking, honest, self-confident everything we see in our children as they grow up is directly linked to our parenting style.

Check in what parenting style you fit in:

1.  HELICOPTER PARENTING:

In this approach, the parents constantly hover over their children and are ready to do anything if they notice what the child needs. They finish their home works, science projects. They make sure once the child demands it, it’s ready before them.

Like an eagle, the parents swoop at any moment to rescue their child and solving every problem for them.

The disadvantage of this style is the child always is in a dependency mode. Once they reached adulthood, they work with a disadvantage as they are unprepared to handle the many struggles of life.

If parents always go to their rescue the children get little practice to cultivate important skills of life like self-reliance, problem-solving, social skills, decision making.

2. AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING:

Authoritarian parents never consider the child’s feelings. Moreover, the parents demand absolute obedience. There don’t give any freedom for the children to follow their mind. They insist they aren’t any room for discussion and follow the rule, “what I told is correct.”

For authoritarian parents, punishment is the only alternative to discipline. The essence of this parenting style is to push, push, push the child until they achieve, achieve, achieve.

Children of authoritarian parents have problems with self-esteem and are constantly under threat of punishment, and they grow mentally mild and as weak personalities.

Children may also become hostile and aggressive. They may never set eyes on future or success ideas as most of the time they focus on the anger they feel about their parents. To avoid punishments, they may cultivate a tendency to lie.

3. PERMISSIVE PARENTING: 

Many parents would want to be their child’s ‘best friend.’ In friendships, it involves most of the times saying ‘yes’ to everything asked. Same lenient tendency prevails in parents who are generously permissive with their children.

The parents set rules but never supervise to enforce them; they have the opinion that a child will be at their best with little interference. They and lenient and behave in a manner ‘I want my child to like me.’

There are quite forgiving, and they adopt an attitude of ‘kids will be kids.’ They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems but allow a free will to choose their inferences either good or bad.

Most of the children with permissive parents enjoy a lot of freedom and are aware of the parent’s leniency. There is a chance; when children grow up, they may not accept authority or rules. It might lead to behavior problems and may suffer from low self-esteem.

4. AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING:

This parenting style is the backbone of parenting. It is a parenting style where parents care about the child behavior. They are responsive to every day emotional needs. They are always watching from a distance how their children are functioning.

Parents have the patience and are non-judgmental about the acts of the children. They understand the child’s feelings and stand by them when it is required.

The parents encourage independence use positive discipline instead of harsh punishments.

Children under the guidance of authoritative parents are happy, healthy and successful.

They become good at making decisions and good at social skills.

They enjoy good self-esteem, and they are more likely to become responsible parents who are competent and assertive.