SEVEN PARENTING RULES – 33

THE ABC’S OF SMART PARENTING

Smart parenting guidelines involve principles that parents have to follow. These principles, prudently followed while raising the children will help maintain a more peaceful household with better-behaved children and less upsetting climate for everyone involved.

Good parenting rules require flexible techniques. There are rules to be followed to call you a smart parent. The first is to understand your child’s temperament.

As a smart parent, you need to gauge the most fundamental moods, characteristics, personality traits of your child. These features comprise your child’s temperament. A smart parenting style is meaning that as a parent you have to adjust your approach to the unique personality of your child.

Each child as he grows acquires a unique temperament. Not all children demonstrate the same mentality. Some children are easy to handle, and some children are consistently hard to tackle.

A smart parent easily understands what the child’s temperament is: ‘easy or difficult.’ They immediately recognize the children who require more attention and who are difficult to manage asks for more patience. Children demand more repetition to cultivate good manners and a good attitude. They often require more time and space to adjust. Smart parents must indeed have to show enormous patience and understanding to raise healthy children in their homes.

LOOK AT YOUR PARENTING STYLE

Parenting styles involve the methods by which parents raise their children. Before trying to understanding the child’s behavior patterns, it’s required to examine our temperamental style as a parent.

It’s important to know our parenting style can affect the child everything from his health, his emotions and later how much he succeeds when he grows up.

A smart parent adopts a parenting style that ensures healthy growth and development. They are aware that the way we interact with the children and how we treat as individuals will go a long way in influencing the children the rest of their lives.

Further, a smart parent is familiar with the best nurturing skills like:

They create appreciable surroundings that allow the children to express their ideas and wishes. They listen to them without prejudging them and without criticizing them.

The parents offer them more opportunities and good choices so the children can have more freedom to make reasonable choices so they can tend to have more control over their actions and activities.

A SMART PARENT NEVER SPANKS

Spanking is a common form of discipline still used on children everywhere. A smart parent knows that spanking not beneficial for children. It is a fact because they increased the likelihood of low self-esteem, poor health, and negative effects on social and psychological development.

It is evident spanking is not safe, or not effective to bring in any changes in child behavior. If the parents notice any changes in a child after the spanking, the effects were seen short-term only.

A smart parent chooses ways to use positive and non-abusive methods with their children. And they follow healthy nurturing habits while the children are growing up.

They always concentrate on the positives rather than on negatives. Because looking at the negatives in a child is always stressful.

SEVEN PARENTING RULES – 32

ONLY CHILD

I hear routinely from new age parents about their resolution to have only one child. The reasons behind this decision could be many: The present of work culture demanding enormous psychological and physical pressure and time. They may also include economic implications, like good education and lifestyle demands. When both the parents being too busy with their jobs.

THERE ARE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF HAVING THE ONLY CHILD:

ADVANTAGES:

The kid grows up with a closer parent-child relationship. That can give him undivided attention from the parents.

That being the only child means that parents have only child to spend their time and money and not to divide among the siblings. And to enjoy more love from the parents than the normal.

As an only child, he needn’t face any complications because of an overbearing, envious, competitive sibling. He can be free of any of these emotional burdens.

As an only child, they can have a higher degree of self-esteem because of continuous attention paid by the parents. Strong self-esteem can increase the confidence levels in an only child.

As there is no competition and complications from the siblings, the child can grow up with more independence and fend for themselves better.

DISADVANTAGES:

Arrogant, bossy, selfish, spoiled are the terms used to describe the only child.

Because the only child has all the attention and love, they are likely to stand a risk of acting like “I’m an emperor attitude” which may not be liked by his peer groups.

This sort of excessive attention and care can prove detrimental in the long term for the child. It may create in the only child a ‘me-me-me’ mentality. That may discourage the child not to think of others.

The most noticeable disadvantage of being an only child is the feeling of loneliness. Not having a sibling to play with regularly and be able to share their thoughts and events. Thus it may result in not forming friendships and to get along and help others.

Not to have siblings will not let the child handle school-related problems like teasing, negotiating, and teamwork. Usually, it’s the brothers and sisters who help develop these skills in day-to-day situations.

Whether you have one child or many, it is the duty of the parents, to help the child to become a healthy individual. They deserve the best from the parents. The key parenting secret is always treating each child as if he is the only one.

 

SEVEN PARENTING RULES – 31

HOW TO TALK WITH OUR CHILDREN

It is surprising to note many parents are not so good at how to talk with children. For most of them, they talk with an impression that being parents the children are obliged to listen to them.

But the reality is the tragedy we witness among the parents and their children the growing discomfort of miscommunication. Or many failed attempts to built bridges to reach them so that children toe the of parents’ line of expectations.

In whatever friendly ways the parents attempt to look at when they are grown up. The poor nature of communications between them is the result of a parent’s lack of sympathetic relationship; when not nurtured when they are young.

From their childhood days the parents’ desires, advice, ideas revolve around one belief. We want to mold them; we have to impress them with our ideas, our ideology, and our desires. As parents, it never strikes us that the child has his thinking mechanism. The opinion of his own and he entertains his fantasies. He is very much an independent character full of ideas and energy to sustain them.

To reduce the conflicts and confusion that might lead to discontent among parents and oppressiveness among children the parents have to follow a few tips about how to talk with their children:

Good communications are possible only when we respect the child and his point of view.

We must not force them into our thinking mold. Insisting what we are preaching is the right way. We know what is right for them.

Each child has his in-built creative means to achieve what he wants in his life. He has enough mental faculties to shape his personality. Parents’ job is to be logical referees to supervise their small efforts in achieving them.

We have to recognize as a parent our job is to guide our children. We also have to learn, very early, the means of how and what we are guiding our children.

It is pleasant and easy to speak to children. It’s known young children are so very free in expressing themselves. For parents, it’s not difficult to discover while they are talking about what is that they are thinking and to what is the purpose behind it.

Ignoring the opinions of the children and what they are planning to convey. We parents resort to criticizing them, rebuking them, ignoring them or find fault with what they are trying to express.

This defeating act of the parents would be very discouraging to the children. There is a likelihood they may not share any information expecting it would invite censure from parents.

If these hurting experiences multiply, they may gradually close the doors of communications upon their parents.

Expecting children should always do the ‘right’ thing, always manage all his works decently, and behave like an angel. It would be ridiculous presumptions from the parents’ side. Speaking to children conveying these ideas would never encourage a good communication climate in the first place.

As parents, we are too much interested in pushing our point of view and our frame of assumptions about our children. We behave as if we are very much sure of how our child feels and type of emotional bent they have.

There is one notion a parent must understand that for any issue there is more than one point of view – we may see it in one way, and our children may presume it all together in a different angle. If we are comfortable to accept this contrast we will able to communicate with our children not being rigid with ‘I’m right, and you are wrong’ attitude.

Listening to our children means trying to accept and see his point of view, his logic and acknowledging that he too has thoughts of his own. Parents’ role is to see he is guided and helped to take advantage of this multiple viewpoints and see how this awareness contributes to the creative progress of the child.